The last few times I've come back from holiday I've found I've suffered some kind of panic attack whilst away. When I was in Malta last year I woke up at 4am with a tight chest, hardly able to breathe a few times. When I was home - at home I am usually much calmer and more at peace with life, it wasn't until the last night I was struck with the overwhelming feeling that even when I was to go home again and regardless it will always be home to me, now that my parents have moved back it wasn't going to quite be the same again -queue tight chest. When I was in Thailand, one of my last days me and a friend decided to have a nap before going out one last time, I was struck with the overwhelming feeling of going back to problems and a job that was never going to change. The thought started when I was thinking of what an amazing holiday I had had and how to had to come back again, then the next thought was - how will I ever afford it? and then? how will I afford to go home? - not just when I want to, but when I NEED to. Home is a place that I can recharge myself from the uk when I find it gets a little too much for me and I need to remind myself of me. Then I went into a downward spiral, trying to calm myself with breathing techniques and positive thoughts. I tried to joke about it and laugh it off.
But since I've been back I've been struck with that tight painful chest and hard breathing and I just can't seem to shake it. I'm so overwhelmed with what I need to do for my shop all the paintings I want to do, keeping on top of my fitness, doing overtime to help pay back Thailand and also the blogs. It just became too much, something was always getting left behind, mostly this blog. I had this constant feeling I was always going to be stuck in a bad place and that I was never going to have enough time to do all the things I wanted to to get me out of it. I am so fortunate I have supportive friends like Jemma who helped me when I went a little off the rails and ranty about my problems - sometimes it helps to just get it out.
And today? well today I started writing out lists ( I LOVE a good list) of what I can do and I suddenly thought, why shouldn't I be excited about all the things I have to do? Of course its going to be hard and of course I'm going to be exhausted trying to find more time then I have now. But I love all these extra things I do outside my job and I need to start being excited about them and not so pressured, although I do still enjoy them. So I've decided when I get this tight feeling, which I anticipate I won't loose for some time I'm going to smile and think of all the things I have to look forward to once this hard work pays off. I'm going to write 50000 lists if I have to to calm me down and I'm going to pray that by the end of the year I won't ever suffering this overwhelming feeling again. x
Keep up to date with my latest posts by following me! :)
- Bloglovin
- Twitter
- Instagram
- Pinterest
- Youtube
Here comes the first instalment on my Thailand series - I can't beleive it's been a week! I have such blues :( - but I thought I would start with where to stay, I had the opportunity to stay in 3 hotels while I was in Phuket so I thought I would give you the low down on them all.
1. Aspery Hotel - This was the first hotel I stayed in, I pretty much booked it because it had a rooftop infinity pool overlooking the sea...or so I thought, since the picture had been taken a new hotel popped up slightly blocking the view from the pool but the poolside did have 3 tiers so you could still get that sea view. The room itself was really nice, tv, double bed, really nice bathroom - so I was pretty chuffed with it! The hotel is about a 3 minute walk from Patong beach and has some 7/11s close by. It's also a 10-15 minute walk to Bangla road ( I have a post on this coming in a few days!) The hotel itself also has a mini spa which has got decent prices and I had a Thai massage there which was really good ( even though I got stood on by a giant Thai lady!! it was 200 Baht) - it also has a restaurant on the ground floor and the staff were really lovely and helpful. I arrived several hours before check in and they took 15 minutes to get the room ready and even upgraded me! The hotel was £54 for two days(£13.5 for one person if you are a pair) which I think is a really decent price for the location and quality of the hotel.
2. Wyndham sea pearl resort- oh my god. this hotel - it's what dreams are made of. This hotel is stunning, honestly, it's got amazing views of the mountains and the sea. Our suite had a Jacuzzi for each room and then a 2 minute walk away was a pool between our block. The rooms and overall decor throughout the hotel was just stunning. The breakfast here was really decent as well! The only slight downside to this hotel is that it is a little bit of a mooch from town so you aren't able to walk anywhere but tuk tuks were 200 Baht during the day and sometimes 200-300 a night which isn't heaps. The hotel itself has a spa and it does offer some discounts on activities but we did find that a lot of things were cheaper outside of the hotel - esp getting a taxi to the airport. The prices for this hotel varies on what style of room you book and the pool/jacuzzi situation but for 1 night between 2 for a jacuzzi it was £69 - so around £34.50 each. - I honestly think it's worth it though!! Even if you only do it a couple of nights!
3. Sira Grande hotel - this one I stayed in last and of all of them it was my least favourite. It was a decent room, the bed was huuuuge it fit 3 of us comfortably but the shower leaked all over the floor which wasn't great. The pool was stunning and was really lovely,it also had a mini gym on top if you want to stick to your fitness on holiday. The location is good though, it's a 5 minute walk from the Robinson mall and around 5-10 minute walk to Bangla road as well. I got 2 nights for £48 and one night for £53 which didn't make sense! It was still a decent hotel but if I was going back I probably wouldn't stay here again as I enjoyed the other two so much more!
Keep up to date with my latest posts by following me! :)
- Bloglovin
- Twitter
- Instagram
- Pinterest
- Youtube
I love lush, I do... and I do love this product - there is just one thing...the smell. It smells like wet dog...a spicy wet dog. And that's okay... to smell like a wet dog for a few minutes while you cleanse your face. The other day I spoke about cleansing your face with a cleansing brush so I wanted a good cleanser to go with it. A lot of people had talked about Clinique but at £20 a go and a holiday to save for I just couldn't do it. At the last blogger meet up we were kindly given little samples from lush and this was one of them. I felt the sample didn't do the product justice so decided to get the full large sized product. Smell aside this is a really great product and to be fair the smell isn't that bad, I feel like once you recognise the smell though there is no going back... so...SORRY if it never hit you before and now all you smell is wet dog.
It's got a thick consistency kinda like wax and does feel oily when you put it on but my skin doesn't feel oily at all after using this. It feels really smooth and fresh and the smell doesn't linger I promise! Though this teams perfectly with the cleansing brush you will need a damp cloth to get it off completely, when I first tried without it, due to the oils I found it difficult to feel like I had gotten it all off and was scrubbing for some time. The pot is around just under £6 and has lasted quite some time so it's definitely good value for money. Would I repurchase? Yes! - Unless someone can recommend a nicer smelling good value cleanser then I may reconsider! x
Keep up to date with my latest posts by following me! :)
- Bloglovin
- Twitter
- Instagram
- Pinterest
- Youtube
